sigh... french play like kids today... lost money liao...

argg... no mood ah... money is not a big problem... but i REALLY hate the feeling of losing... This feeling remind me of the last sem in lim kok wing, which i spented my best effort in the final project, still lose to song yuan and wye chuan in terms of graphic, interactive, entertainment, EVERYTHING... sien ah... sigh... The phrase "At least I've tried my best" really cannot cover the pain leh... still feeling the ache until now... sigh....

damn stupid france today play like shit only... stupid zedane keep pass the ball to henry, and henry keep missing the shot... stupid referee chee sin liao... keep giving out yellow card... strict like hell... wasted my time sitting there, but cannot see any goal, and still have to lose money...

wah stupid match took away all my mood liao.....

sigh....

ever has this feeling, that the more people you know, the less people that you really "know"? i dare to say that i had quite alot of friends... but still... how well i know them? heck i cannot even remember thier birthday leh! it's like although there's no problem now, but still, it's rude not to know your friend's general detail right?

sigh... what to do? dunno why my memory really bad one... must because of the accident i had damn long time ago... at least that's the excuse i give myself lah...

despite of the friends i had... i still cannot shake away that lonely feeling leh... some time even when in the midle of yam cha, in the middle of laughing at jokes, dunno why will suddenly feel damn down... =.=''' do i really need to find a spiritual support? should i join religion? but none of the religion i really like and agree on woh... i had my way of living.. and if you want me to follow those ideas that i dun like, i also beh song right? cannot find the most suitable religion for myself... but wan meh??? i dun wan join religion lah...

those who knew me all also know i very ham sap one... i was like a hormone raging maniac, approach all kinds of women... that's why i kena twice liao... which i will never forget... =.='' ma de hai make me lost all the remaining confidence i had in myself liao... but thanks to that incident, i knew that i'm not looking for girlfriend afterall.. i dun like to get tied down... i dun like people to kacau me... i still cannot commit... in short, i'm not raedy yet... i found out that, i need a pet...

actually why i start to write blog ah? i'm not the kind of person that can write my emotion out... i'm dun like to share my secrets... i dun like to let people know what i'm thinking... even IF i want people to know, i cannot put it in words... i found out that most of the topic in my blog, all has entertaining values... i think unconciusly, i'm seeking atention... well, not unconciusly.. i knew that from that day i start making jokes on myself so i can make other people happy...

that reminds me... last thursday after me and the SgBuloh gang finish clubbing in Rush, on the way back, one of the guy asked me (that time we alone lah... and no... this time i didn't "broke back" him..)..

"actualy why you let them bully you one?"
(in the middle of clubbing, we saw some guy took of thier shirt (not pants...) so they decided to follow them... uh... actually is they decided to make me fllow them...)
"huh? got bully meh? dunno woh... that time seems fun mah..."
"but you not feel not song meh? let a 18-19 years old kid push you around..."
"huh? hmm... dunno lah... friend mah... nvm one..."
"... ken, you're too nice liao lah.... too nice until it's scary..."

... this lead me to think... ya woh... all this time, i let people push me around only... last time mc they all play like that i nv angry... even that time chun keat twisted my hand (p.s. to chun keat: it's pasted so i forgive liao... just cannot forget only... :P) i did nothing.. the only thing i did was throw the chair, and claim back RM50.. that's it...

is being too nice a very bad thing? i dare to say that if a bully come up to me, push me on the shoulder, and demand me say sorry, i think i'll say sorry and hope he'll walk away... am i being too coward? but in my opinion, that's the only smart, unharm way to solve things mah... if 1 sorry can solve the problem, i lose abit of my pride, and i can settle the matter in the civilize, best, unharm way... but in another hand, that's very coward... it's like i didn;t even TRY to defend my pride... got quite some number of friend tell methat i shouldn't forgive and forget that easilly... some time we should let our rage and feeling take control, instead of the brain... whack first... speak later... too bad it's hard for me to follow it...i'm too rational... i'm scare of pain... i'm the guy that only look at the result... if i whack that guy, of course i'll defend my pride... but after that? the matter sure will get worst... they'll get more people to whack me... or worst... if i swallow my pride, then the matter can be solve in the quickest way... but if like this, i'll swallow my pride whenever i face a problem... do i still consider a man? can i relaly protect my family? should i continue this way?

sigh... really dunno lah... all the stuff and moral that those so call "wise man" (lao-tze, kong-tze, laoFu-Tze etc) all teach us to behave... teach us how to become a moral person... i dare to say that i followed alot of them... but the older i grow, the more i know those so called "good-moral" not only cannot help us in this era at all, it'll make us miserable...

take love life as example... out of 10 girls i saw, 9 girls prefer those bad boys type... i saw some taiwan series, about gangster... after the first episod, i decided to return the dvd back to my friend... sien gau... dun say the girls lah... even i also think the bad boys in the movie are cool... if i'm a girl, obviously i'll choose them over those spec wearing, comb-hair-flat-flat, not muscular, study guy... after the first episod, i realise that all the moral value i learned from childhood, are all rubish... they can't help in love life, they can't help in job, they can't help in anything at all...

sigh.... 3 am liao... that's all in my mind for now.. too tired to think of anything to write... hopefully i won't write anything as sien as this again...

eh baru thought of something... i woner how many "I" and "Me" i've used in this blog? this lead me think back the same question again... why do i write this blog? if i want to entertain people, this is not an entertaining blog... if i wanna grab attention, why the hell i keep writing me? see thsoe blgos with over millions hits perday, they rarely tell about themselves... they talk about politics, sights, culture... etc...

then why the hell i write blog? i dun like to express my feeling... i had better things to do instead of sitting in front of the computer on 3 am in the morning, blogging... not many people reading this... heck I also dun really want people to see this... it's too embarrassing...

heck i dunno even know what i'm writing liao... =.='''

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause. Batman, the Dark Knight 79% Indiana Jones 67% Neo, the "One" 58% The Terminator 58% William Wallace 58% Lara Croft 54% Maximus 50% James Bond, Agent 007 46% El Zorro 42% The Amazing Spider-Man 42% Captain Jack Sparrow 42% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

hahaha... i'm the dude that wear black underwear on the outside... :D take THAT red underwear!!!

sigh.... long time nv write negative post liao...

hmmm to start this post, i'm sorry that i didn't update my blog this few day... but my friend called me just now, that he's in low yat, and he's going to help me buy a new modem so... those of you who read my blog, HORAY~~ and those who don't... BOOOOOO~~~~ \ _ /

anyway (now i notice i really like to use the word anyway...) collagelife was fun... but i'm not as active as i thought i will be... sigh... those bloody help admin loh...

ok i'm gonna start thing from the top...

before i enrol, of course i'll seek council from help right? that council told me i can skip foundation if i got a diploma certificate... well, i don't have a diploma... i got the next best thing... an ADVANCE diploma... :D not that it make any diffrence but... ADVANCE!!!! :DDDD

now it's the second week of collage, and yet, they keep telling me that they had problem with the application =.='''' on the first week, they called me and ask me bring the original or a certified true copy transcript... ok that's a resonable request, so i did and pass the transcript to them... then on second week, they call me again and said that they cannot process the application because i don;t have the foundation certificate... i was like, WTF??? you all blind ah??? never see that remark on the transcript issit?? it clearly stated "This student has passed all the subject. Proceed to next sem" ... even a half blind man (blind man cannot see =.='' ) can tell that i passed foundation leh!!

ok i better stop the rant and continue with the story... ok so to solve this ridiculas problem, i've called back to limkokwing and ask for a foundation certificate. i practically argued with my formal lecturer because of the stupid cert... he keep saying that limkokwing doesn't issue foundation cert and i told him i need some prove to show to HELP admin or else i cannot enrol... at last, the lecturer ask me to give his number to HELP admin, so they can discuss it over the phone and find a solution... and i did...

1 day passed... 2 day passed... enrolment date is getting nearer and nearer... i cannot wait anymore... so i decided to seek that help admin and ask for the solution... =.=''' to my suprise, that admin didn't call my lecturer at all!! so i have to wait for 1 hours, and after that, she told me that limkokwing will issue a letter, to prove that i've passed foundation... but the problem is that i can only collect the letter on tuesday.. and enrollment is on friday... =.=''''' sien ah.... it's impossible to arrange my time table anymore... i sure cannnot get the best tutorial time liao... EVERYONE in help will fight thier heads off to get the best time on friday, and i can only pick the left over time that clashes with EVERY subject... =.='''

But still, not everything in HELP are bad... at least i met some very nice friends there... Siu Fai, Jordan, Jack, Kate, Sylvia, Crystal, Jeremy, Xuanyi, etc etc... i'll put thier blog's link in my... uh... blogger's link section soon... :) zuanyi stated taht his blog has more than 19k visitor perday... =.=''' i gotta visit that site soon... :) siu fai is a footsal player... good body.. nice look... he's entering LIME's "funkiest dude"... so dun forget to vote for him ah... :) but he sup[rised me when he say that he don;t have a girlfriend =.=''' Jordan is a very friend guy VERY friendly... his like the core leader in the group... he makes friend with anyone and EVERYONE... his social skill is excellent... sylvia ... =.=''' wah... dunno how to put this... no i'm not saying anything bad about her... she knew my sister,... they were secondary friend... and yes... now i have to watch what i do and how i talk infront of her liao =.=''' sien ah cannot do "those" stuff that i did in seconday and lim kok wing liao...

met cassandra in help, with i guess no one except hing chun and wye chuan here know who she is... :) hmm... i only chat with her for a few minuits then i have join my friend for lunch so nothing to talk about YET... :)

ANYWAY, ebnough of those boring life... i wanted to write something emotional one... but since now almost 5:30, so i better save that story for another time... :) now i prepare to go home and prepare for the world cup... time to take out my england jersey.. :D (not that i support england... i only have england jersey...)